Frequently Asked Questions
Whether you’re exploring more about couples therapy, new to a city and looking for a new therapist, or researching who might be the right fit for you, it’s natural to have questions. Explore these FAQs to learn more.
What is the difference between a psychologist, psychiatrist, and a therapist?
For someone who is new to therapy, it’s totally normal to not know what the exact differences are between each of these titles. Here’s a quick rundown of each:
A psychologist has both a master’s degree and a doctoral degree in psychology (s/he is a “Dr.” and his/her title has PhD or PsyD at the end). This means he/she has studied mental health and therapy for at least five years in graduate school and completed additional postgraduate work. A PhD (Doctor of Philosophy in Clinical Psychology) a PsyD (Doctor of Psychology) are essentially the same, with a PhD simply having a greater focus on research in their training.
A therapist has earned a master’s degree. S/he has a title such as MSW (Master of Social Work), MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist), or LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker). These are typically 2-year programs completed after a 4-year college degree. These programs generally do not address the full range of mental health disorders but focus more on “normal” functioning.
A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specializes in psychiatry at the end of medical school. A psychiatrist is the only of the these three who can prescribe medication, which is often the primary part of his/her practice.
I’m a psychologist and have a PhD. All of the above being said, I don’t necessarily believe that one’s training or degree represents how skilled they are…that is a much more tricky thing to assess.
How do I know if therapy right for me?
So here’s the short of my long answer: therapy is for anyone. Therapy is about living the best life you can and starting now. Therapy has the potential to benefit anyone willing to learn and grow! (In fact, here’s a great video that I didn’t produce, but do agree with, that gives you more perspective about the journey of getting therapy.)
Here’s the long answer: The process of therapy has two major themes: healing and growth. It’s deeper than problem solving or fixing (although certainly problems may get solved and fixed). It’s about healing from the hurts of the past so they don’t continue to trouble you. It’s about discovering the path that you are on, for better or for worse, and learning to make good choices on that path or change your path entirely. It’s about seeing the patterns in your life so you can change the ones you don’t like. It’s about transforming yourself to become more authentic, more relaxed about life’s challenges, more in love with the people in your life, and more confident about your place in life. It’s about creating all the love and joy you deserve.
That’s why it can be for anyone looking to explore a happier, healthier life. Why not learn to live the best life you can live?
Who do you work with? Do you specialize in a type of issue?
While I primarily work with couples, I’m equipped to help many kinds of clients. I work with adults, including older adolescents, and do both individual and couples sessions. I work with all kinds of couples (LGBTQ, divorced but co-parenting, polyamorous couples, etc). I have in depth training and experience with addiction, although those with serious addictions will need more intensive treatment than I can provide. I am happy to provide follow-up care.
Some areas I do not specialize in include eating disorders, ADD/ ADHD, childhood disorders, psychosis, schizophrenic spectrum disorders, and sleep disorders. If one of these things is your primary issue, then I’m probably not the right therapist for you. Also, if you are in serious active addiction, you will probably be better served by more intensive treatment than I can offer. If this is your challenge and you find yourself here on my site, feel free to email me and I will be happy to help give direction or guidance where to look.
What can I expect in a session?
Your first session as an individual client always begin with me listening and getting to know you. This is a conversation and often referred to as “talk therapy”. This is a great way for us to both get to know each other and create an environment that feels comfortable and safe.
For couples, you can expect that I will be directive and goal-oriented from the beginning. I have found that successful couples therapy needs to be much more focused and structured than individual therapy. I will spend time getting to know you, but I will typically have plans for our sessions as well. We will not spend sessions trying to solve “the problem of the week,” as that will not help you in the long run. You can count on me to keep sessions feeling safe, positive, and forward moving. We will not spend time complaining or pointing fingers.
As we get to know each other and work together, some individual clients are open to including other forms of therapy beyond just conversation such as meditation, guided imagery, guided relaxation, breath work, body work, yoga poses, or ceremonies. This might not be for everyone, but I do find that clients often really enjoy these new ways of working through their challenges. Therapy will always go at your pace and your comfort level but I will gently challenge you and try to keep you at your growth edge for maximal benefit and minimal wasted time.
You can expect me to start and end sessions on time. You can expect to sometimes leave feeling better but not always—personal growth is sometimes painful, sometimes ecstatic, and sometimes just feels slow. You can expect to feel safe and cared about with me.
How is premarital counseling different than couples therapy?
Premarital counseling is a great way to set a strong foundation as you enter marriage. It’s not about getting ahead of problems or avoiding challenges (although it can help bring things into the light before they become issues later). Instead, it’s an opportunity to accomplish two important goals: 1) learning relationship skills so you can successfully navigate challenges, including healthy conflict management and communication skills, and 2) having conversations with your partner that you may not have thought to have yet, such as understanding the many facets of your beliefs regarding issues such as marriage, parenting, religion/spirituality, and intimacy.
Marriage is not easy. In our culture, there are a lot of myths around marriage and not much solid information about how love relationships really work. Premarital counseling can give you the skills and confidence to know that your marriage will be strong and resilient. You will leave premarital counseling knowing more about your partner, yourself, and how to stay connected with each other even during hard times.
I’m interested in couples therapy, but my partner is nervous about the process OR I haven’t yet talked to him/her about it. What should I do?
Here are some things I tell people who are less than eager to jump into therapy.
- Marriage is hard. Smart people ask for help with hard things.
- Most friends/family don’t give good marital advice.
- Advice is not what you need. You probably need new skills and a new perspective.
- I’m not going to take sides. I will treat you both with respect and understanding.
- I don’t believe that one of you is right and the other wrong. I have never seen a couple in which the challenges were all one person’s fault. I will help you both see clearly what you are contributing to your relationship.
- I’m also not going to solve your problems for you. I’m going to teach you how to see each other and your problems differently and how to work through them together. (Give a man to fish and he’ll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for the rest of his life).
- Couples therapy can be less scary or threatening than individual therapy because we can start off learning important skills. We don’t need to drag all of the skeletons out of the closet at first, or maybe ever.
- I ask couples if they would like to complete an online marital assessment. That way, a lot of information can be shared without spending therapy time to discuss it all. This can be an easier, less stressful and more cost effective way for me to get to know you.
Immersions, and specifically my 4-hour Couples Communication Camp, is another great alternative to committing to weekly therapy. This session focuses on learning a new way to handle conflict and is really more coaching than it is therapy.
If you are not quite ready for private counseling, workshops are another great option. Committing to a workshop is an affordable way to explore the benefits of therapy. Workshops are focused on teaching and skill building and those in attendance can share as much (or little) as they feel comfortable in our safe, confidential group environment. This is a great way to see if a therapist or the journey of therapy is right for you and your needs as a couple. If you want to join my mailing list and be alerted about my next workshop, you can join here.
It is important to note that each individual in a partnership that is considering couples therapy should be open to the process of growing and learning. If you’re in a relationship with a partner not ready to commit or unwilling to get help, I encourage you to explore individual counseling to help you gain perspective, support, and start your own journey to personal healing.
How much does therapy cost?
My fee is $150 per 50-minute hour. On occasion, I reduce my fee based on financial need, so please inquire to see if this is possible for you.
How do you work with insurance?
I do not take insurance, but I can help you claim your insurance benefits as an out-of-network doctor. If you don’t know whether sessions would be covered, call your insurance company and ask about your “benefits for outpatient mental health visits with an out of network therapist.” They will let you know if your session is reimbursable and to what extent. While you’ll need to file the claim on your own, I am happy to provide you the proper paperwork you’ll need to get maximum reimbursement when possible. Please note that yoga therapy is typically not covered by insurance.
When do you see clients?
I keep regular business hours for the most part, but am willing to see clients outside of these hours if absolutely necessary. This may mean needing to leave work for a session, or taking a day off for a couples intensive. I also want to alert you that I may sometimes have to cancel a session if my daughter is sick or has to be picked up from school for some other reason.
How often would I come and how long will it last?
Therapy is most often weekly, but it can be more or less often. After our first session—typically 80 minutes long—we can decide together how often you should come and whether 50 minute or 80 minute sessions are best for you.
Weekly therapy provides a continuity that less frequent sessions seem to lose, but I am also aware that many factors, including finances, play a role in this decision. Some therapists require weekly sessions. I leave this decision more or less up to you, but will make a recommendation.
As for how long of a commitment, that varies greatly by client. I’ve had one client who found that 2 sessions was all she needed and others who’ve come for many years. Often clients will come for a while, stop for a while, and come back. My only wish is that stopping and starting are conscious choices.
For couples therapy, after a phone consultation, I can give you an idea of the length of intensive I think would be the best fit for you. For weekly therapy, I like couples to commit to a 3 month period of work and then assess where we are. For premarital therapy, I typically plan on 8-12 sessions, depending on the goals of the couple.
What is covered in our client confidentiality agreement?
Client confidentiality means that I cannot disclose to anyone anything you say to me, unless I am required by law to do so or unless you have given me permission to do so. For example, if your mother calls me, or your spouse, or your insurance company, I am not allowed to tell him/her/them anything, including whether or not you are (or were) in fact my client, without your explicit verbal or written consent.
Situations in which I may be required by law to disclose information include those in which I need to report abuse that is happening or has happened, those for which I am subpoenaed by the court (as in custody cases), or those in which you or someone else is at risk (as in suicidality or homicidality). Other than these serious situations, what confidentiality means to you is that your privacy, including your records, is protected.
That includes the possibility of meeting accidentally in public and me being required not to act in a way that would disclose to those around you that you are my client. You, on the other hand, are free to tell anyone anything about your therapy or about me, and you are free to approach me in public if you like! In fact, you can even tell friends that this is your wonderful therapist you’ve been telling them about.
How will I know when I am done with therapy?
My goal as your therapist is that you end our time together with you having more clarity and joy in your life. With most clients, we talk about the process of ending therapy together. This way we can discuss ways for you to continue your great work.
There are times when people drop out of therapy prematurely when it gets uncomfortable, or they feel their therapist isn’t the right fit, or for other reasons outside either of our control. You, of course, are always free to end therapy at any time for these or any other kinds of feelings. I am probably not going to suggest that you stay in therapy if you feel strongly that it’s time to stop.
I do ask that if you find yourself in these situations (yes, even if you feel as though I am not the right fit as a therapist), I ask that we make a point to connect for the sake of closure and healthy goodbyes. All too often in life, we don’t do well with goodbyes. And they’re important, so let’s talk. Maybe just for a minute, maybe for the whole session—but point being, let’s make it a conscious and deliberate decision so that we can both learn and feel good moving forward.
